Acceptance is key
Lately, I've been trying to live my life with a new sort of rule or mantra in mind.
Accept what I cannot change; improve what I can affect
Perspective matters. It's everything. How we see the world shapes our entire experience of reality. What we know, what we don't, what we can or can't see, touch, hear, taste, etc... My perspective can either be, "This shit blows. Unfair. I hate my situation right now." or, "Let's make the best of what we've got and not let the little things get me down.".
Recently, being sick got my chemistry all out of whack, and I wasn't making the healthiest decisions to remedy the issue Drinking too much, unhealthy eating, etc... The depression fog hit hard. At first, I was upset that I was feeling that way - it felt unfair. After struggling for a bit, I started to accept my situation and do things that would boost my mood. Bottle kombucha, walk on the beach, eat healthier, meditate extra... Little things to treat myself while I ride out the storm. Even if I still feel down, it's better accept it and ride it out than to stew over how unfair it feels. Let's face it, I'm great at stewing and beating myself up in my head, but that's just making the situation more difficult at the end of the day.
Some things are within our control, but majority of life happens with or without you. It keeps going. Life can throw obstacle after obstacle at you, then in the very next moment, treat you to a transcendental moment of bliss. It's not fair, it's not predictable, it just happens.
Acceptance isn't apathy. It's just seeing things clearly for how they are. This means without any (usually false) assumptions or background resentment or baggage that we so easily assign to everyone and everything in our life. For me, I had to sort of re-train my mind to see things in a more neutral light. I had to stop filling in the blanks with my own drama. All too often, I would create my own unhappiness by unknowingly projecting my own baggage onto others. I'm getting a little better at this, and subsequently a little better at managing life's ups and downs.
HOW we react to life is always in our control.
It's sure as hell not always easy - just like anything else, it takes practice. For me, it's taken therapy, medication, a serious mindfulness obsession, meditation, diet/excercise adjustments, and a supporting safety net of loved ones... And I'm far from being a perfect shining example of acceptance and in-the-moment composed, non-reactive thinking. But, I'm closer than I was a year ago, and I'm much happier with who I am now, and who I'm becoming.
So, here's to accepting the things about our situation that we cannot change and being proactive in improving the areas of life that we can focus on!